More on Middle-Age Male Grooming

During some recent guy talk (topics generally center on power tools and girls’ butts), there was a story told about a fella who agreed to a nose hair waxing. I have the same nose grooming issue as many guys my age, and, if left unkempt, I could fashion the resulting hair into a swank mustache. So, I am sensitive to this brother’s issue and the pressure to address it by his wife. The story wasn’t clear if he was sent by his wife or sold the service after inquiring. Either way – I’m sure he didn’t fully understand what he was agreeing to, but while he sat the lady applied copious amounts of hot wax to the end of a pop-cicle stick, put the waxy end of the stick into one of the man’s nostrils and pinched his nose together. Then, after the wax hardened, she yanked down on the pop-cicle stick like a groom pulling on a wedding dress zipper and jerked out all of his nose hair in a split second. Like you, I was speechless the first time I heard this story.

The story stops there, but the question on my mind was if he had the other nostril waxed? The story makes no mention, but my theory is yes, and here is why. It is well documented in medical journals that sudden physical trauma creates a state of shock in victims.

There are a host of physical responses by the human body when in a state of shock – such as delirium, the inability to feel further pain due to the adrenaline response of the trauma, and/or an unconscious or semi-conscious state. So, I think that while the man was still in a delirious state of shock, the spa lady did the other nostril before he knew what happened. The real question in my mind, however, is how much he tipped her for this service???? The story made no mention of this detail either, but I would suggest the standard…$5. This is because you would not want to show back up next time and have her unhappy with you because you stiffed her on your last visit.

Afterwards, I wasn’t convinced this was even real. But Internet research revealed this was not an urban legend, but widely practiced on men everywhere. I noticed some guys were having their wives do this for them. I would not recommend this as I witnessed several mis-fires where the wife pulled on the stick, but did not pull hard enough to actually remove the hair – only hard enough to inflict pain. I think if you go the do-it-yourself route to save a few bucks, you are setting yourself up for some serious marital tension. I really think you want to go with a professional no matter how confident your spouse may be in her abilities.

The key take-aways here are: 1 – waxing hurts 2 – don’t get a nose wax 3 – if you go for the nose wax, DO NOT let your wife do it.

© Johnny Hea – 2011 All Rights Reserved